


Fragment

by troi-in-monochrome (amonovalis)



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 06:43:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8002348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amonovalis/pseuds/troi-in-monochrome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>still trying to get back into writing, so this is literally just a fragment of an idea that keeps popping up in my head but never quite made it onto paper as a full story. maybe someday. hopefully.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fragment

She is so much taller than her and yet you can’t help but notice that they seem to fit together quite nicely. The slender, sinewy frame towers over her, standing close enough to almost melt against her back. You watch as she bends closer, whispering something causing both of them to laugh. Her hand travels in a slow, gentle but deliberate way across soft skin, accompanied by a mischievous wink.

You feel uncomfortable and like an intruder looking at them but it seems impossible to turn your gaze away. Because you see her smile. This soft, warm, inviting smile that you so crave to see - but not directed at someone else. The jealousy you feel is physically painful and your stomach clenches as you finally tear your eyes away from them, catching the confused look she casts around. No doubt she picks up on your feelings but you hope that the sheer number of people and the excitement lingering in the room will prevent her from pinpointing their origin.

You wonder when it had come to this point. Again, you try to tell yourself that it should not have happened but - here you are.

Her laughter. Even from here you hear her warm voice coloured with that unique accent of hers and more than a hint of suggestion. You know how she will tilt her head while talking, moving her hands in those unconscious gestures. Her eyes will hold all the emotions and thoughts she might not voice. You've never seen eyes that expressive and you can’t help but smile at the thought. It lessens the knot of discomfort in your stomach and you are able to order another glass of wine. Even find yourself talking to one of the visiting captains. Somehow finding some enjoyment in the conversation which helps you to relax.

When you finally turn around again they are gone. Another physical jolt of jealousy passes through you as your mind conveniently offers an endless stream of images of what the two will be doing now. It is infuriating and you barely keep yourself from slamming the glass you hold on the counter. A few people next to you cast bewildered looks your way. A curt remark to Jean-Luc and you leave as well.

But being alone in the hallways of the Enterprise makes it worse. Now every sound is a gentle whisper. A soft moan.

You want to scream.

You want to get a hold on what you are feeling but you feel that control is quickly slipping away.

That you are standing in front of her quarters registers only as your finger hovers over the annunciator. Panic makes you feel sick for a long moment as you are not sure whether you touched the small padd or not.

You close your eyes as the hiss of the door answers that question.

“Beverly?”

She stands in the door frame, confused and frowning as she ties a robe closer around herself. Hiding flashes of bare skin. You can’t help but cast a glance behind her to see the motion mirrored.

The only thing that probably saves you from her understanding what this is all about is that your emotions are in turmoil. A cacophony of impressions and thoughts that would make it impossible, even for her, to distinguish anything.

A weak laugh as you try to somehow save the situation. “I had too much wine, I think.”

The frown dissolves into a slightly raised eyebrow and although the unvoiced question doesn’t disappear from her eyes she smiles at you. Reaches out and touches your arm for a moment. A warm, friendly gestures.

It hurts. It hurts because you want so much more.

“Do you want to come in for a moment?”

Your laugh sounds too loud in the quiet hallway, even to yourself. “No…no, I don’t want to disturb you. I just…I get myself a hypo and go to bed.” You move your hand around in a helpless gestures that brings back her frown but you are already backing away. “I am sorry…don’t mind me.” Another laugh, almost convincing this time.

Before she can say anything else you stumble into the next turbolift. Losing any strength in your body you lean against the wall, closing your eyes.

How did you end up here? When had it gotten this bad? A slow, almost painful exhale as you remember exactly when.

[...]


End file.
